Once Josh’s curse was cast, I knew he would get what he deserved, but I was still a wreck because of the relationship. I didn’t trust anyone since I was taken advantage of. I felt stupid because I didn’t see the warning signs. I needed to do something to heal me.
I cleaned the mess I made while throwing the curse. I then gave the room a healthy smudging with sage and sprinkling with salt water. I then moved to the main altar in my bedroom. On the altar was a crystal point of amethyst, a green candle, and another puzzle box. I lit the candle and cast my circle.
Slowly, I began to piece together the puzzle, remembering the person I was before Josh and willing myself to be that person again. Once I was complete, I painted over the puzzle with clear adhesive. I meditated while the adhesive dried. Once dry, I framed the puzzle, a portrait of the knight in gleaming armor. I glued the amethyst point to the knight’s shield. I held the picture high and said
“I name you Joe. Thou art God.”
The puzzle now hangs above my bed and is a constant reminder of who I am.
Excerpt from my Book of Shadows
Ok, so a little background. I once dated this guy named Josh. He was cute, he liked to have a good time, and did I mention he was cute. Early on, things were great. Since he made significantly less money than I did, and since I have disposable income, I planned extravagant dates. At one point, I took care of some legal fees that he had that were hanging over his head. Shortly thereafter, I found out about his roommate. I use that term loosely. What he considered a roommate, turned out to be his live in boyfriend. I had never been used like this before and I had a tough time getting over it. So, I decided to cast the below spell.
My altar was arranged crudely on the hearth of my fireplace. On one side sat a blood red candle. To the other was a black candle. In the middle was a bottle of whiskey, a pack of clove cigarettes, and the pieces of jigsaw puzzle. I lit a match, lit both candles, the fireplace, and my cigarette all in one motion. I closed my eyes to cast a circle, but decided against it. The circle is a place for holy work; this wasn’t that type of spell.
Slowly, I pieced the puzzle together while concentrating on the ways that Josh crossed me. With each piece, my anger grew. As my anger grew, the flames seemed to leap higher, yet the candles burned slower. When I was finished, I looked down at the completed puzzle. It was a ferocious dragon and it was the perfect representation of Josh.
Slowly, I tore the puzzle apart, piece by piece, and threw them in the fire. As I did this, I imagined tearing Josh apart. At first, it was figurative. I saw him losing his job, losing his home, losing the love of his boyfriend. Then it got petty. I saw him losing his hair and gaining weight. Finally, it got a little literal. I saw him being picked apart by birds and torn limb from limb. Once I was done, I threw the candles in the fire and finished the bottle of whiskey. The curse was laid.
Now it was time to work on me…
To be continued.
I once took an online course offered by author Dianne Sylvan called Becoming a Spiritual Nomad. Overall it was a great course, but one thing that stood out was an assignment called a Guru Board. Basically, this was a collage that listed people you considered gurus for your path. I did have a whole post about who these people were and why there were important. However, I think it’s more fun if it’s left a mystery and you make your own conclusions. You can find more about the course (now an ebook) here)
Many Wiccan’s neglect the fact that a lot of Wiccan magical practices were borrowed from ceremonial magic. Once I strayed from Wicca, I began study all forms of occultism. I started with Donald Michael Kraig’s book Modern Magick. In it, I learned one of the best techniques for banishing called I.O.B. or Identify, Objectify, and Banish.
Below is a transcript from my Book of Shadow’s that details my experience with this technique.
I’ve struggled with confidence since I was a kid. When I was younger, I was called shy, but as an adult, it is seen as weakness. It wasn’t until I became focused on my career that I realized that this personality trait could cause issues for me. I grabbed Kraig’s book from my bookshelf and began to prepare myself for an I.O.B working.
I cleared my altar. On it’s surface, I placed a black candle, my athame, a dish with a bundle of sage, and my altar pentacle. I lit my candle and from it’s flame light the bundle of sage. I smudged the area and grounded myself. I cast my circle and summoned the four guardians.
I began to visualize my poor self confidence as a human. I pictured myself as a small child and named him Shy. He looked innocent enough. In fact, I almost felt sorry that I was going to banish him. However, the more I thought of my situation, the more I saw the negative effects of holding onto this trait. I remembered how I was bullied and pushed into decisions that weren’t the best for me. I remembered the people that took advantage of me and how angry it made me.
As these memories coursed through my mind, Shy changed. His angelic appearance become more demonic. His skin turned ashen blue, his eyes black. I took the athame from the altar and severed the etheric cords that connected me to Shy. As I did this, Shy was pushed from my Circle. I lifted my athame to the sky and placed my left hand on the altar pentacle. I said the words ‘Be far from me, all ye profane.’ With a rush of energy, my circle closed. The energy soared through the Universe, taking Shy with it.
My will was done.
– Excerpt from my Book of Shadows July 2009
I finally get the nerve to leave my car. It’s 4 am on a Monday and it’s freezing. I don’t know what else I would expect for Pittsburgh in the winter. I’m second guessing my decision to come to the cemetery this late, especially since the Mt. Lebanon Police Department is right next to the cemetery. I summon all the courage I have, grab my bag, and walk into the cemetery.
I make my way in the darkness. I’ve been in this cemetery hundreds of times before, but its different at night. They always say that cemeteries aren’t haunted because no one dies there, but tonight, I beg to differ. The darkness distorts reality. The path seems longer. The trees seem alive. The wind seems to whisper to me. It’s taking every inch of will power not to drop my bag and run back to my car.
I arrive to the place I was seeking. The only place in the cemetery where three roads meet. I step to the intersection and close my eyes. I silently cast my circle. However, this time the power builds counter clockwise around me. Instead of a spiraling up, my circle spirals down.
Now that the circle is cast, I reach out Hecate.
‘Hecate of earthly, watery, and celestial frame. You in a saffron veil arrayed, pleased with dark ghosts that wander through the shade, give your ear to my prayer.’
The wind stills and a dog howls in the distance. I burn a petition containing my wish and sprinkle the ash at the crossroads. I leave a key and a crude clay statuette of a dog. I open my circle and leave the cemetery.
My spell is cast.
–Excerpt from my Book of Shadows
A simple altar is set on my back porch. The small table is adorned with a green pillar candle, the Empress from my tarot deck, a small censer of rose and myrtle, a wand of sycamore, and the old copper mirror I found in an antique store.
The transit started the earlier in the night, but I wanted to wait until the last thirty minutes to cast my spell. I light another cigarette while I wait. I think about the power of this astronomical event. Another transit of Venus will not happen until 2117. Since I doubt I will be alive when I am 132, I figure this is the only time I can use the energy to my benefit.
I snuff out my cigarette. I stand to ground and center. I take the wand and cast my circle. In the light of the green candle, I look for the mirror. I hold it high and visualize the power of Venus surging through me. I silently empower the mirror to serve me as an amulet of protection. Any energy that is sent to me will be reflected back by the power of the mirror.
I snuff the candle with my fingers. The spell is cast.
June 6, 2012