E is for Elephant Shit

I used to be in a terrible relationship. When it came time to break up with this guy, I shared the following story.

“Life is like a big race. We start at one end of the track when we are born and we eventually cross the finish line into death. Along the way, the Universe has hidden treasure for us to find. This treasure includes friends, family, romantic partners, careers, hobbies, passions….However, the Universe feels that we only appreciate what we work for, so before time began, the Universe allowed a herd of wild elephants to walk our path first. Unfortunately for us, these elephants left steaming piles of excrement in our path.”

“This is really where people are separated into two categories. Some people are side steppers, while others are stick holders. Stick holders, walk along their path and when they come across the elephant poop, they poke and prod at it with their stick. They fret about how hard their life is and waste so much time. These people seldom find any of their treasure.”

“Then we have side steppers. Sometimes, they get distracted by the elephant shit, but will eventually side step around it and move on with their life. These people find all of their treasure.”

“With this in mind, I strive to be a side stepper and you,” I began.

At this point, my then boyfriend interrupted to explain that he knew I was calling him a stick holder.

“No”, I said. “You’re just elephant shit.”

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